Well, fuck it!

Valentines just pass, but I had to know my best friends had a partner through her post and not her words to me. I guess distance really pull us apart, and it kinda break my hearts knowing that everyone else know about it except me! Nothing is the same anymore, between us, words like "we are still friends" or calling each other bae comfortably or even "can't wait to meet you". Those words is doubting me so much now that I wonder is that really what you mean or because of what we had gone through for the past so many years. I am not someone that take the first moves, but if I take the first moves to you, please know that I really care about you and you mean a lot to me. I know that you have new friends now with new working places and they are now replacing me in your heart. I can see it coming already and I am really disappointed and can't help it to be sad, too. 

Whenever things happen, you will be the top three person that I want to share it with, but now, I don't know anymore. I may think about you but not wanting to share with you anymore because I don't know will you share the happiness with me or just be a good pretending listener acting you care so much but deep down in the heart, you are not actually listening or feeling happy for me. 

But, oh well.. fuck it! I am not gonna let this get in my way now that I had so many more friends that I neglect and glad that I could use the time for you to them. Even though we don't talk so much anymore, I really hope that my place in your heart is still the same. I don't expect you to know how I feel because you wouldn't care to check my blog anymore. Someone else will pop in my head when I wanted to share my happiness or bitterness now. Thank you for being yourself and thank you for letting me know you are not the same anymore. 


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