Distance
Every day I woke up by the alarm, getting myself prepare for work
Checking on mails, messages & social media while I am on my way to work
Waiting for the morning messages, hoping that the first thing you do after you're awake is sending me "Good Morning, Love", but the message always come late
Checking on social media, seeing couples able to do things together, sharing their happiness with their friends and family and hoping that I can do the same, but I can't
Putting the envies behind my head and continue with my life
There goes another post on friends getting married and celebrating with their friends and family, and of course, I wish I can do that someday getting blessings from friends and family, but the expectation wasn't high as I know how society perceive our relationship
Thoughts of getting judge and fear of not getting blessing from my love ones add on the distance towards my dream of marriage
Fine, let's move on
Finally, arriving at work, started our conversations and there goes the daily routine
11am, my ex-colleague texted me on courtesy, we started talking on stuffs, and suddenly he asked me, "Are you seeing someone?", I said "No". I was so frustrated that I couldn't tell anyone about our relationship, fearing of getting attention and rumours and gossips
I am already breaking down halfway through
Let's put on a mask, pretending I am okay and continue with my smiling face
Talking to my colleague with an "okay" face yet inside was crumbling like a pre 8.9 earthquake
The 8.9 earthquake stop and I get to rebuild the buildings to 60% over lunch and getting distracted by my own feelings
2pm, you called. I had to leave the office to talk to you
Trying to be okay and go on with our usual conversations, I was barely able to hold my tears
Let's get back to work
6pm, finally getting off work, I am feeling excited just by the thoughts of seeing you
On my way home, sometimes we chat on life and issues, sometimes I just play my games
Back home, getting dinner with the family, hoping you will be there, eating next to me
Needed to text you secretly
Finally back home for good, getting things done and you video called
Seeing you, drop all the frustrations, sadness, envies, jealousness accumulated throughout the day
We talked and sometimes just stare
It's the end of the night, time for bed
We gave each other virtual kisses and hugs, hoping that its a real hug and kiss
Hoping that we could touch each other physically
Saying good night is always the hardest part because we have to go to sleep without having each other by our side
Sometimes, I couldn't stand it and cry myself to sleep when I am too emotional
Hoping that your shoulder is there, but it's not
Thinking how can people survive LDR
Thinking how long more can I take this
Missing you to sleep every night
Good Night Love.
Checking on mails, messages & social media while I am on my way to work
Waiting for the morning messages, hoping that the first thing you do after you're awake is sending me "Good Morning, Love", but the message always come late
Checking on social media, seeing couples able to do things together, sharing their happiness with their friends and family and hoping that I can do the same, but I can't
Putting the envies behind my head and continue with my life
There goes another post on friends getting married and celebrating with their friends and family, and of course, I wish I can do that someday getting blessings from friends and family, but the expectation wasn't high as I know how society perceive our relationship
Thoughts of getting judge and fear of not getting blessing from my love ones add on the distance towards my dream of marriage
Fine, let's move on
Finally, arriving at work, started our conversations and there goes the daily routine
11am, my ex-colleague texted me on courtesy, we started talking on stuffs, and suddenly he asked me, "Are you seeing someone?", I said "No". I was so frustrated that I couldn't tell anyone about our relationship, fearing of getting attention and rumours and gossips
I am already breaking down halfway through
Let's put on a mask, pretending I am okay and continue with my smiling face
Talking to my colleague with an "okay" face yet inside was crumbling like a pre 8.9 earthquake
The 8.9 earthquake stop and I get to rebuild the buildings to 60% over lunch and getting distracted by my own feelings
2pm, you called. I had to leave the office to talk to you
Trying to be okay and go on with our usual conversations, I was barely able to hold my tears
Let's get back to work
6pm, finally getting off work, I am feeling excited just by the thoughts of seeing you
On my way home, sometimes we chat on life and issues, sometimes I just play my games
Back home, getting dinner with the family, hoping you will be there, eating next to me
Needed to text you secretly
Finally back home for good, getting things done and you video called
Seeing you, drop all the frustrations, sadness, envies, jealousness accumulated throughout the day
We talked and sometimes just stare
It's the end of the night, time for bed
We gave each other virtual kisses and hugs, hoping that its a real hug and kiss
Hoping that we could touch each other physically
Saying good night is always the hardest part because we have to go to sleep without having each other by our side
Sometimes, I couldn't stand it and cry myself to sleep when I am too emotional
Hoping that your shoulder is there, but it's not
Thinking how can people survive LDR
Thinking how long more can I take this
Missing you to sleep every night
Good Night Love.
Being miserable is second word for love ......hope you and ur boyfriend be together without worries in near future ....
ReplyDeleteThank you! I hope I am strong enough to reach that moment.
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